this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
