There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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