I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
either way he was missing a nipple.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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