Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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