Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
