What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
