Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
