Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
