and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
