I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
