Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
