just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
