ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
