another moral hangover. fuck.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
