i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
