just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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