Pappa wants mamma naked
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize