Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
