i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
