this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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