And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
