i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
