you turned your livingroom into a bong?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
