found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
