I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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