Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
