just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
