You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
