Me too!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
