Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
