I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We need to rekindle our bromance
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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