so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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