Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
