My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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