Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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