She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
