I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
