And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize