You can't motorboat a personality
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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