Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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