where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
