So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
