we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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