So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
