I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
