boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
