Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
