We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
