dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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