i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
