So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
