I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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