chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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