There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize