She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
