i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
