I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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