I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
