somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize