The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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