Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
