"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize