Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The uberlube is also flammable
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
