so explain again why im purple
no
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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