Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
