We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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