left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
