I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize