The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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