Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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